external image motivation10.jpg

Notes (p. 328-336)

  • Motivation: a need or desire that energizes and directs behavior
Motivational Concepts:
  • Instinct theory(now replaced by the evolutionary perspective) focuses on genetically predisposed behaviors.
  • Drive-reduction theory focuses on how our inner pushes and external pulls interact.
  • Arousal theory focuses on finding the right level of stimulation.

Instincts and Evolutionary Psychology:
  • To qualify as an instinct,a complex behavior must have a fixed pattern throughout a species and be unlearned.
    • o Human behavior exhibits certain unlearned fixed patterns, i.e. infants’ innate reflexes for rooting and sucking
    • o Many psychologists view human behavior as something guided by physiological needs and psychological desires.
Drives and Incentives:
  • The drive-replacement theory is the idea that a physiological need creates an aroused state that drives an organism to reduce their need by means of things, such as eating or drinking.
    • o In certain circumstances, when a physiological need increases, so does a psychological drive—an aroused, motivated state.
      • § Physiological aim of drive reduction: homeostasis – the maintenance of a steady internal state, i.e. regulation of body temperature
      • § We are pulled by incentives—positive or negative stimuli that lure or repel us.
        • Freshly baked pizza, aroma of good food, etc.
Optimum arousal:
  • Some motivated behaviors actually increase arousal.
    • o Human motivation aims to seek optimum levels of arousal.
      • § Having all our biological needs satisfied, we feel driven to experience stimulation and hunger for information.
      • § Lacking stimulation, we feel bored and seek ways to increase arousal to some optimum level.
        • With too much stimulation comes stress, and then we look for a way to decrease arousal.
A Hierarchy of Motives:
  • Some needs take priority over others.
    • o Abraham Maslow (1970) described these priorities as a hierarchy of needs.
      • § At the base of this pyramid are our physiological needs, such as those for food and water. Only if these needs are met are we prompted to meet our need for safety, and then to satisfy the uniquely human needs to give and receive love and to enjoy self-esteem. Beyond this, said Maslow (1971), lies the need to actualize one’s full potential.
    • o Maslow also proposed that some people attain a level of self-transcendence, a self-actualization level where people strive for meaning, purpose, and communion that is beyond the self that is transpersonal.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
  • Hunger can be a provocative force, prompting one to do unimaginable acts.
    • o David Mandel (1983), a Nazi concentration camp survivor, recalled how a starving “father and son would fight over a piece of bread. Like dogs.” One father, whose 20-year-old son stole his bread from under his pillow while he slept, went into a deep depression, asking over and over how his son could do such a thing. The next day the father died. “Hunger does something to you that’s hard to describe,” Mandel explained.
      • § This description highlights the supremacy of physiological needs came from starvation experiences in World War II prison camps.
The Physiology of Hunger - Body Chemistry and the Brain:
  • Hunger = stomach contractions.
    • o Even without stomach pangs, hunger would still persist. Some hunger persists similarly in humans whose ulcerated or cancerous stomachs have been removed.
  • People and other animals automatically regulate their caloric intake to prevent energy deficits and maintain a stable body weight. This suggests that somehow, somewhere, the body is keeping tabs on its available resources.
    • o Glucose is one of these resources.
      • § Increases in the hormone insulin diminish blood glucose, partly by converting it to stored fat.
        • If your blood glucose level drops, you won’t consciously feel this change. But your brain, which is automatically monitoring your blood chemistry and your body’s internal state, will trigger hunger.
    • o Hunger is controlled by the hypothalamus. Two distinct hypothalamic centers influence eating.
      • § Activity along the sides of the hypothalamus (the lateral hypothalamus) brings on hunger. If electrically stimulated there, well-fed animals begin to eat.
      • § Activity in the second center—the lower mid-hypothalamus (the ventromedial hypothalamus)—depresses hunger. Stimulate this area and an animal will stop eating; destroy it and the animal’s stomach and intestines will process food more rapidly, causing it to become extremely fat.
  • The appetite hormones
    • o Insulin: Secreted by pancreas; controls blood glucose.
    • o Leptin: Secreted by fat cells; when abundant, causes brain to increase metabolism and decrease hunger.
    • o Orexin: Hunger-triggering hormone secreted by hypothalamus.
    • o Ghrelin: Secreted by empty stomach; sends “I’m hungry” signals to the brain.
    • o Obestatin: Secreted by stomach; sends out “I’m full” signals to the brain.
    • o PYY: Digestive tract hormone; sends “I’m not hungry” signals to the brain.
  • The complex interaction of appetite hormones and brain activity may help explain the body’s apparent predisposition to maintain itself at a particular weight level.
    • o Hunger increases and energy expenditure decreases.
    • o Set point: the point at which an individual’s “weight thermostat” is supposedly set. When the body falls below this weight, an increase in hunger and a lowered metabolic rate may act to restore the lost weight.
    • o Our bodies regulate weight through the control of food intake, energy output, and basal metabolic rate—the rate of energy expenditure for maintaining basic body functions when the body is at rest.
      • Settling point: level at which a person's weight settles in response to caloric intake and expenditure (influenced by environment and biology)

Notes (p.337-347)

This is how anorexic person perceives herself. She looks in the mirror and sees only fat, feeling compelled to starve herself.

The Psychology of Hunger:
  • Our eagerness to eat is pushed by our physiological state—our body chemistry and hypothalamic activity.
    • o Part of knowing when to eat is our memory of our last meal. As time passes since we last ate, we anticipate eating again and start feeling hungry.
Taste Preferences: Biology and Culture:
  • Body chemistry and environmental factors together influence not only when we feel hungry, also our taste preferences.
    • o When stressed, we crave starchy, carbohydrate-laden foods:
      • § Carbohydrates help boost levels of serotonin, which has calming effects.
      • Preferences for sweet and salty types are genetic and universal.
      • Other taste preferences are conditioned—when given highly salted foods, people develop a liking for excess salt.
      • Culture also affects taste:
        • o Bedouins, for example, enjoy eating the eye of a camel, which most North Americans would find repulsive.
          • § Neophobia (dislike of things unfamiliar) was adaptive for our ancestors, protecting them from potentially toxic substances.
          • Other taste preferences are also adaptive.
            • o Spices most commonly used in hot-climate recipes inhibit bacteria growth
            • o Pregnancy-related nausea
The Ecology of Eating:
  • Situations also control our eating.
    • o People eat more when eating with others; the presence of others tends to amplify our natural behavior tendencies
      • § Social facilitations—explains why, after a party or a feast, we realize we’ve overeaten.
  • o Similarly is unit bias, which occurs with similar mindlessness.
    • § For cultures struggling with rising obesity rates, the principle—that ecology influences eating—implies a practical message: Reduce standard portion sizes, and serve food with smaller bowls, plates, and utensils.
Eating Disorders:
  • Our bodies are naturally disposed to maintain a normal weight, including stored energy reserves for times when food becomes unavailable. Yet sometimes psychological influences overwhelm biological wisdom.
    • o Anorexia nervosa: typically begins as a weight-loss diet. People with anorexia—usually adolescents and 3 out of 4 times females—drop significantly (15 percent or more) below normal weight. Yet they feel fat, fear gaining weight, and remain obsessed with losing weight. About half of those with anorexia display a binge-purge-depression cycle.
    • o Bulimia Nervosa:may also be triggered by a weight-loss diet, broken by gorging on forbidden foods. Binge-purge eaters—mostly women in their late teens or early twenties—eat the way some people with alcohol dependency drink—in spurts, sometimes influenced by friends who are bingeing. In a cycle of repeating episodes, overeating is followed by compensatory purging (through vomiting or laxative use) or fasting or excessive exercise. Preoccupied with food (craving sweet and high-fat foods), and fearful of becoming overweight, binge-purge eaters experience bouts of depression and anxiety, most severe during and following binges. bulimia is marked by weight fluctuations within or above normal ranges, making the condition easy to hide.
      • § Binge-eating disorder: Those who do significant binge eating, followed by remorse—but do not purge, fast, or exercise excessively
      • Eating disorders do not provide (as some have speculated) a telltale sign of childhood sexual abuse.
        • o Mothers of girls with eating disorders tend to focus on their own weight and on their daughters’ weight and appearance.
        • o Families of bulimia patients have a higher-than-usual incidence of childhood obesity and negative self-evaluation.
        • o Families of anorexia patients tend to be competitive, high-achieving, and protective.
  • Anorexia sufferers often have low self-evaluations, set perfectionist standards, fret about falling short of expectations, and are intensely concerned with how others perceive them
  • Genetics may influence susceptibility to eating disorders.
    • Twins are somewhat more likely to share the disorder if they are identical rather than fraternal
  • Culture and gender also plays a role in these disorders
    • Body ideals vary across culture and time
    • In India, for example, women students rate their ideal shape as close to their actual shape
    • In the West, there is a high emphasis on slim figure
      • Today’s sickness lies in part within our weight-obsessed culture.
        • motivates millions of women to be “always dieting,” and that encourages eating binges by pressuring women to live in a constant state of semistarvation.

Obesity and Weight Control:
  • Our bodies store fat for good reasons. Fat is an ideal form of stored energy—a high-calorie fuel reserve to carry the body through periods when food is scarce—a common occurrence in the feast-or-famine existence of our prehistoric ancestors.
    • Worldwide, estimates the World Health Organization (WHO) (2007), more than 1 billion people are overweight, and 300 million of them are clinically obese(defined by WHO as a body mass index of 30 or more
    • Being slightly overweight poses only modest health risks:
      • Being significant obesity increases the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, gallstones, arthritis, and certain types of cancer, thus shortening life expectancy.

The Social Effects of Obesity:
  • Obesity can also be socially toxic, by affecting both how you are treated and how you feel about yourself.
    • Obese people know the stereotype: slow, lazy, and sloppy
    • Widen people’s images on a video monitor (making them look fatter) and observers suddenly rate them as less sincere, less friendly, meaner, and more obnoxious
      • Weight bias is especially strong among women.
      • In national studies of U.S. adults, obesity has been associated with lower psychological well-being, especially among women, and with a 25 percent increase in depression and anxiety

The Physiology of Obesity:
  • Research on the physiology of obesity challenges the stereotype of severely overweight people being weak-willed gluttons.
    • Size and number of fat cells determine body fat.
      • A typical adult has 30 to 40 billion of these miniature fuel tanks, half of which lie near the skin’s surface
      • In an obese person, fat cells may swell to two or three times their normal size and then divide or trigger nearby immature fat cells to divide—resulting in up to 75 billion fat cells

Set Point and Metabolism:
  • Once we become fat, we require less food to maintain our weight than we did to attain it:
    • compared with other tissue, fat has a lower metabolic rate—it takes less food energy to maintain
      • When an overweight person’s body drops below its previous set point (or settling point), the person’s hunger increases and metabolism decreases. Thus, the body adapts to starvation by burning off fewer calories

The Genetic Factor:
  • Studies reveal a genetic influence on body weight.
    • Despite shared family meals, adoptive siblings’ body weights are uncorrelated with one another or with those of their adoptive parents. Rather, people’s weights resemble those of their biological parents
    • Identical twins have closely similar weights, even when reared apart
    • Given an obese parent, a boy is three times, and a girl six times, more likely to be obese than their counterparts with normal-weight parents
    • Scientists have discovered many different genes that influence body weight.
      • One gene scan of 40,000 people worldwide identified a variant of a gene called FTO, which nearly doubles the risk of becoming obese

The Food and Activity Factors:
  • There are other factors that influence obesity besides genes, such as sleep loss, and social influence.
    • Sleep Loss: Studies in France, Japan, Spain, the United States, and Switzerland all show that children and adults who skimp on sleep are more vulnerable to obesity
      • With sleep deprivation, the levels of leptin (which reports body fat to the brain) fall and ghrelin (the stomach hormone that stimulates appetite) rise.
    • Social Influence: People were most likely to become obese when a friend became obese. If the friend who became obese is a close friend, the odds of one’s likewise becoming obese almost tripled.
    • Inactivity is compounded by ever-larger food unit portions of high-calorie foods.
    • The “bottom” line: New stadiums, theaters, and subway cars are widening their own seats to accommodate population growth and increasing obesity:
      • Environmental Reforms must be made:
        • Establish a fast-food–free zone around schools.
        • Slap an extra tax on calorie-laden junk food and soft drinks. We’re reducing smoking with increased cigarette taxes. Why not, for the same reason, institute a “Twinkie Tax”?
        • Use the revenues to subsidize healthy foods and to finance health-supportive nutritional advertising.
    • There can be high levels of heritability:
      • genetic influence on individual difference without heredity explaining group differences
      • genes mostly determine why a person is heavier than another
      • environment determines why people today are heavier than counterparts 50 years ago.
Losing Weight:
  • With fat cells,settling points, metabolism, and genetic and environmental factors all tirelessly conspiring against shedding excess pounds, what advice can psychology people who want to lose weight?
    • o Permanent weight loss is not easy.
    • o Those who do manage to keep pounds off set realistic and moderate goals,undertaking programs that modify their life-style and ongoing eating behavior
      • realize that being moderately heavy is less risky than being extremely thin
      • They exercise regularly.
      • Tips:
        • Begin only if you feel motivated and self-disciplined.
        • Minimize exposure to tempting food cues.
        • Take steps to boost your metabolism
        • Eat healthy foods
        • Don’t starve all day and eat one big meal at night.
        • Beware of the binge.

Notes (p.348-354)

Sexual Motivation:
  • Sex is part of life.
    • Sexual motivation is nature’s clever way of making people procreate, thus enabling our species’ survival.

The Physiology of Sex:
  • Like hunger, sexual arousal depends on the interplay of internal and external stimuli.

The Sexual Response Cycle:
  • Masters and Johnson describes the sexual response cycle in four stages.
    • —excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution
      • During the initial excitement phase, the genital areas become engorged with blood, a woman’s vagina expands and secretes lubricant, and her breasts and nipples may enlarge
      • In the plateau phase, excitement peaks as breathing, pulse, and blood pressure rates continue to increase. The penis becomes fully engorged and some fluid—frequently containing enough live sperm to enable conception—may appear at its tip. Vaginal secretion continues to increase
      • Muscle contractions occur all over the body during orgasm; these were accompanied by further increases in breathing, pulse, and blood pressure rates.
      • he body gradually returns to its unaroused state as the engorged genital blood vessels release their accumulated blood—relatively quickly if orgasm has occurred, relatively slowly otherwise.
        • Resolution phase – male enters refractory period, lasting a few minutes to a day or more, during which he is incapable of another orgasm.
          • Female’s much shorter refractory period may be enable for her to have more orgasms if restimulated during or soon after resolution.

Hormones and Sexual Behavior:
  • Sex hormones have two effects: They direct the physical development of male and female sex characteristics, and (especially in nonhuman animals) they activate sexual behavior.
    • When females become sexually receptive, they secrete female hormones, estrogen, which peak during ovulation.
    • For males, the male sex hormone, testosterone, is secreted stimulating sex organs.
      • In humans, hormones more loosely influence sexual behavior, although sexual desire rises slightly at ovulation among women with mates.
    • Women’s sexuality differs from that of other mammalian females in being more responsive to testosterone levels than to estrogen levels
      • If a woman’s natural testosterone level drops, as happens with removal of the ovaries or adrenal glands, her sexual interest may wane.
        • testosterone-replacement therapy sometimes restores diminished sexual appetite.
    • In men, normal fluctuations in testosterone levels, from man to man and hour to hour, have little effect on sexual drive
      • In later life, as sex hormone levels decline, the frequency of sexual fantasies and intercourse declines as well
The Psychology of Sex:
  • Sex and Hunger are two different motivations, but hunger responds to need, while sex response to arousal and desire.
    • If we do not have sex, we may feel like dying, but we don’t actually die.
    • Both depend on internal physiological factors, and both are influenced by external and imagined stimuli, as well as cultural expectations.
External Stimuli:
  • Seeing, hearing, or reading erotic material can arouse both males and females.
    • Their brains do, however, respond differently, with fMRI scans revealing a more active amygdala in men viewing erotica
    • Sexually explicit material can have adverse effects
      • Depictions of women being sexually coerced, and enjoying it, tends to increase male viewers’ acceptance of the false idea that women enjoy rape, and they increase male viewers’ willingness to hurt women.
Imagined Stimuli:
  • The stimuli inside our heads, our imagination, can influence sexual arousal and desire.
    • People, who have no genital sensation because of spinal cord injury, can still feel sexual desire.
    • Dreams have erotic potential.
      • Sleep researchers have discovered that genital arousal accompanies all types of dreams, even though most dreams have no sexual content.
        • Dreams sometimes contain sexual imagery that leads to orgasm
    • Men (whether gay or straight) fantasize about sex more often, more physically, and less romantically.
      • They also prefer less personal and faster-paced sexual content in books and videos
Adolescent Sexuality:
  • Adolescents’ physical maturation fosters a sexual dimension to their emerging identity.
    • Before 1900, a mere 3 percent of women had experienced premarital sex by age 18
    • 2005 – 47% of high school students acknowledged having sexual intercourse
    • Sex during the teen years is often unprotected, leading to risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

Teen Pregnancy:
  • Ignorance is a leading cause to many teenage pregnancies.
    • Although 9 in 10 claimed to be knowledgeable, many were unaware that STIs can be transmitted through oral sex (which two-thirds had engaged in); only 19 percent had heard of HPV (human papillomavirus, a leading cause of genital warts and cervical cancer); and only 37 percent mentioned infertility as a possible result of chlamydia.
    • Most teens also overestimate their peers’ sexual activity, a misperception that may influence their own behavior
    • Minimal communication about birth control Many teenagers are uncomfortable discussing contraception with their parents, partners, and peers.
    • Guilt related to sexual activity In one survey, 72 percent of sexually active 12- to 17-year-old American girls said they regretted having had sex
    • Alcohol use Sexually active teens are typically alcohol-using teens
    • Mass media norms of unprotected promiscuity Media help write the “social scripts” that affect our perceptions and actions.
Sexually Transmitted Infections:
  • Unprotected sex has led to increased rates of sexually transmitted infections.
  • 2/3 of new infections occur in people under 25
  • Teenage girls, because of their not yet fully mature biological development and lower levels of protective antibodies, seem especially vulnerable
  • Across the available studies, condoms have, however, been 80 percent effective in preventing transmission of HIV from an infected partner
  • In the United States, STI facts of life have led to a greater emphasis on teen abstinence within some comprehensive sex-education programs.
    • High intelligence
    • Religious engagement
    • Father presence
    • Participation in service learning programs

Notes (p. 354-362):

Sexual Orientation:
  • We express the direction of our sexual interest in our sexual orientation—our enduring sexual attraction toward members of our own sex (homosexual orientation)or the other sex (heterosexual orientation)
    • o Cultures vary in attitude toward homosexuality:
      • § n Chile, 32 percent of people say they think homosexuality “is never justified,” as do 50 percent of people in the United States and 98 percent in Kenya and Nigeria
      • Gay men and lesbians often recall childhood play preferences like those of the other sex.
        • o Most homosexual people report not becoming aware of same-sex attraction until during or shortly after puberty, and not thinking of themselves as gay or lesbian
Sexual Orientation Statistics: Sexual orientation is not an indicator of mental health.
  • The most accurate figure of homosexual people seems to be about 3 or 4 percent of men and 1 or 2 percent of women.
    • o Estimates derived from the sexual activity of unmarried partners reported in the 2000 U.S. Census
      • § suggests that 2.5 percent of the population is gay or lesbian
      • Sexual orientation is not an indicator of mental health.
        • o “Homosexuality, in and of itself, is not associated with mental disorders or emotional or social problems.” - American Psychological Association
          • § some homosexual individuals, especially during adolescence, struggle with their sexual attractions and are at increased risk for thinking about and attempting suicide
            • Initially, they deny/ ignore their desires
  • o Sexual orientation is more strongly established for men
    • § For women, it tends to be more loose and more fluid and changing.
      • In men, a high sex drive is associated with increased attraction to women (if heterosexual) or men (if homosexual).
      • In women, a high sex drive is associated with increased attraction to both men and women.
        • o When shown pictures of heterosexual couples, in either erotic or non-erotic contexts, heterosexual men look mostly at the woman while heterosexual women look more equally at both the man and the woman
          • § Baumeister calls this “erotic plasticity
Origins of Sexual Orientation:
  • Most frequent questions about the origins of sexual orientation:
    • o Is homosexuality linked with problems in a child’s relationships with parents, such as with a domineering mother and an ineffectual father, or a possessive mother and a hostile father?

      • § The answer to all these questions is apparently “no”.
      • § Studies centered around these questions found that: Homosexuals are no more likely than heterosexuals to have been smothered by maternal love, neglected by their father, or sexually abused.
      • Ray Blanchard found that men who have older brothers are also somewhat more likely to be gay and about one-third more likely for each additional older brother.
        • o fraternal birth-order effect
        • If there are environmental factors that influence sexual orientation, we do not yet know what they are.
Same-sex Attraction in Animals:
  • Some degree of homosexuality seems to be a natural part of the animal world.
    • o At Coney Island’s New York Aquarium, penguins Wendell and Cass spent several years as devoted same-sex partners.
The Brain and Sexual Orientation:
  • Researcher Simon LeVaystudied sections of the hypothalamus taken from deceased heterosexual and homosexual people.
    • o To avoid biasing the results, he did a blind study, not knowing which donors were gay
    • o For nine months he peered through his microscope at a cell cluster he thought might be important.
      • § One cell cluster was reliably larger in heterosexual men than in women and homosexual men
      • § A recent discovery found that gay men and straight women have brain hemispheres of similar size, whereas in lesbian women and straight men, the right hemisphere is larger.
  • o LeVay views the hypothalamic center as an important part of the neural pathway engaged in sexual behavior.
    • § believes that brain anatomy influences sexual orientation.
  • o Responses to hormone-derived sexual scents also point to a brain difference.
    • § When straight women are given a whiff of a scent derived from men’s sweat, their hypothalamus lights up in an area governing sexual arousal.
      • Gay men’s brains respond similarly to the men’s scent.
Genes and Sexual Orientation:
  • Evidence indicates a genetic influence on sexual orientation.
    • o First, homosexuality does appear to run in families.
    • o Second, twin studies have established that genes play a substantial role in explaining individual differences in sexual orientation.
      • § Identical twins are somewhat more likely than fraternal twins to share a homosexual orientation
        • Because sexual orientations differ in many identical twin pairs, especially female twins, we know that other factors besides genes are at work.
Prenatal Hormones and Sexual Orientation:
  • Elevated rates of homosexual orientation in identical and fraternal twins suggest that a shared prenatal environment may also be a factor in sexual orientation.
    • o In animals and some exceptional human cases, abnormal prenatal hormone conditions have altered a fetus’ sexual orientation.
    • o A critical period for the human brain’s neural-hormonal control system may exist between the middle of the second and fifth months after conception
      • § Exposure to the hormone levels typically experienced by female fetuses during this time appears to predispose the person (whether female or male) to be attracted to males in later life.
      • On several traits, gays and lesbians appear to fall midway between straight females and males
        • o lesbians’ cochlea and hearing systems develop in a way that is intermediate between those of heterosexual females and heterosexual males, which seems attributable to prenatal hormonal influence
        • Fingerprint ridge counts may also differ.
          • o Although most people have more fingerprint ridges on their right hand than on their left, some studies find a greater right-left difference in heterosexual males than in females and gay males
          • A gay-straight difference also appears in studies showing that gay men’s spatial abilities resemble those typical of straight women.
            • o On mental rotation tasks, straight men tend to outscore women.
The Need to Belong:
  • Although healthy people vary in their wish for privacy and solitude, most of us seek to affiliate with others, even to become strongly attached to certain others in enduring, close relationships
    • o We are what Aristotle called the social animal.“Without friends,” wrote Aristotle in his Nichomachean Ethics, “no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.”
Aiding Survival:
  • Social bonds boosted our ancestors’ survival rate.
    • o By keeping children close to their caregivers, attachments served as a powerful survival impulse.
    • Survival also was enhanced by cooperation.
      • o In solo combat, our ancestors were not the toughest predators.
        • § As hunters, they learned that six hands were better than two.
        • § As foragers, they gained protection from predators and enemies by traveling in groups.

Wanting to Belong:
  • The need to belong colors our thoughts and emotions.
    • o We spend a great deal of time thinking about actual and hoped-for relationships.
    • o When relationships form, we often feel joy.
    • o When our need for relatedness is satisfied in balance with two other basic psychological needs—autonomy and competence—the result is a deep sense of well-being
    • When we feel included, accepted, and loved by those important to us, our self-esteem rides high.
      • o Much of our social behavior therefore aims to increase our belonging—our social acceptance and inclusion.
        • § To avoid rejection, we generally conform to group standards and seek to make favorable impressions
        • § To win friendship and esteem, we monitor our behavior, hoping to create the right impressions.
        • § Seeking love and belonging, we spend billions on clothes, cosmetics, and diet and fitness aids—all motivated by our quest for acceptance.
Sustaining Relationships:
  • When the fear of being alone seems worse than the pain of emotional or physical abuse, attachments can keep people in abusive relationships. Even when bad relationships break, people suffer.
    • o After separations, feelings of loneliness and anger—and sometimes even a strange desire to be near the former partner—linger.
    • When something threatens or dissolves our social ties, negative emotions—anxiety, loneliness, jealousy, guilt—overwhelm us
      • o We feel empty and pointless.
The Pain of Ostracism:
  • Worldwide, humans control social behavior via the punishing effects of severe ostracism—of exile, imprisonment, and solitary confinement.
    • o To be shunned is to have one’s needs threatened.
    • o To experience ostracism is to experience real pain.
      • § Ostracism elicits increased activity in a brain area, the anterior cingulate cortex that also activates in response to physical pain.
        • Psychologically, we seem to experience social pain with the same emotional unpleasantness that marks physical pain.
        • Rejected and unable to remedy the situation, people may seek new friends—or they may turn nasty.